The Rays want chinbeards? THEY CAN’T HANDLE THE CHINBEARD!

A few Joe Blanton items designed to please his biggest fans:

A great article on Joe & family: Blanton’s exploits thrilled parents, confidants – MLB – Yahoo! Sports.

The sweet homerun (Youtube will pull it soon) :

And after the jump, two bonus photos. One shows his eyes clearly open when he swung. He knew what he was doing.

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Play this: “Get Busy” – The Roots

Thank you Jimmy Rollins for putting the Dodger crowd on their heels a bit — the ones that showed up, I mean. From my field level seats, I could easily see over a dozen seats in my section alone that were no-shows for the entire game. But, the fans that did show were hardcore, and I give them a lot of credit for cheering hard the whole game. What a game! I’m unable to bring my writerly skills to bear on it, except for maybe the title I picked for the photo above:

Dodger Fans Tried To Rally Their Team, But the Clouds Turned Philadelphia Crimson and Foretold the Outcome as the Phillies Were Ultimately Victorious

Late in the game, Andre Ethier hurled a ball at our section from a great distance, and it was headed right directly, so perfectly, into my hand — but the guy in the Garciaparra jersey in front of me stretched out and put his hand right into mine and deflected the ball off to the right. Thanks, Nomah!

Now, here’s some bonus crappy video of the final out.

Play it: “Winners Take All” – Aesop Rock

The MLB Playoffs mean way more photogs assigned to cover each game. I was at the Phillies win on Monday night. Quite a tense experience, I can say. I can’t say it was completely fun. For 7 innings, I was the lone red hat in a sea of blue and my team was losing.  I was alone and dejected. Then, when my team took the lead and won, I was alone and a target! But, I survived.

In the post-game searches I thought these four photos were particularly inspiring.

• Matt Stairs’ homer from behind home plate
• Brad Lidge punchin’ suckas out
• Matt Stairs gettin’ mobbed in the dugout
• Manny’s helmet

Other blogs would just steal the photos. I’ll link to them, because they’re commercial. And, I respect the image.

Well, I said if Kentucky Joe got a W in September, I’d do it. And tonight, he pitched a piss-poor game against the Marlins, but was somehow bailed out by Jayson Werth’s big bat. Hey, a win is a win! And, I’m taking full credit for it, too. Never let it be said that I’m not true to my word, at least when it comes to ridiculous wagers. Ladies and gents, my ridiculous new chinbeard:

Update: As seen on The700Level

Update II: THis made the lower levels of Flickr Explore. It’s a juggernaut!

My new theme song: “Ugly” – Fishbone

Well, Joe Blanton didn’t have it today against the Nats, getting pulled early. It’s not looking good for the new guy, ol’ Kentucky Joe.  I defended the move when the Phils picked him up, so I’m gonna do what I gotta do to help him be successful.

So, if Joe Blanton records a W in the month of September, I will do it. I’ll rock the chinbeard. I know it’s a drastic measure, but this is a pennant race and I’m stepping up and laying my chin on the line.

Play it: “The Hair On My Chinny Chin Chin” – Sam Sham & The Pharoahs

MLB – Philadelphia Phillies/Washington Nationals Box Score

The past never dies, it gets repackaged as retro chic — or at the very least it always comes back as an ironic indie band name.  ESPN writer Jeff Pearlman highlights a great example of this immortal truth this week.

“We should be ‘Randy Ready,’” one said.

“No,” said the other. “We can do better.”

“We should be ‘Lou Whitaker,’” one said.

“No,” said the other. “We can do better.”

“We should be ‘Steve Balboni,’” one said.

“No,” said the other. “We can do better.”

And then, as if emerging directly from the lips of God, words of inspiration struck.

“We should be … Von Hayes,” one said.

“Yes,” said the other. “We should.”

The result: Von Hayes — the rock band.

Read: ESPN Page 2 – Pearlman: When baseball and music collide

An indie rock band named after one of my favorite old-school Philadelphia Phillies baseball players from the 1980s? There’s no way that could suck!

“Mr. Guts” – Von Hayes

“Superballs” – Von Hayes

Actually, they do kinda suck. (More at http://www.myspace.com/vonhayes09)  But, that’s okay! All music sucks in some way. It’s  a great story and I hope the real Von Hayes calls them back at some point.  I was a big Von Hayes fan in my time.  Cool name, looked cool in Philly pinstripes, and hit two home runs in one inning. Very cool! Bonus Cool Points for ESPN’s nickname machine Chris Berman calling him Von “Purple” Hayes back in the day.

But guys, just don’t let him invite you onto his boat.

Now, onto some bonus video comparison:

Von Hayes, the ex-Phillie and current minor league manager:

Von Hayes, the enthusiastic indie rockers:

In the beginning, there was the Wolf Pack.  In the wake of that followed the Padilla Flotilla, Chase’s Chicks, and even Sal’s Pals. Any Philadelphia Phillie player with any sort of character seems to get a possibly-alliterative, perhaps-rhyming, potentially-punny nicknamed fan club.

Last night, however, a new one surfaced to support sophomore starter Kyle Kendrick.

Full Coverage and credit at Philadelphia Will Do: Kendrick’s Hendrix

I’m not sure I can support this one. They’ll have to start playing lefty and come up with a better drawing. Of course if it leads to KK warming up to “Spanish Castle Magic” then I will be on board.

Bonus flashback: Preseason prank: Kyle Kendrick traded to Japan

For some reason, I’m disproportionately amused when something I’m already interested in reaches the radar of the the uber-arcane blog Language Log. It’s happened before, of course. Today, the tensions between the Philadelphia Eagles and CB Lito Sheppard crossed over into the the world of the wordy when Lito got into some edgy expressionism.

Language Log » Disappreciation.

Funny pic of the day: Schilling rocking the McNabb jersey out in public. I thought he hated Philly? Actually I guess McNabb will hate Philly soon, too…

Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling stands with his arm in a sling, Monda… – MLB – Yahoo! Sports

How great is fame? Or, rather how great does a goalie have to  be to make it to the Hockey Hall of Fame?

I recently read that Ron Hextall is entering his first year of eligibility. Ron is up there among my favorite athletes to have watched in my lifetime. The default adjective for him has always been fiery, and it’s been well-deserved. He’s a favorite of a lot of lunkhead Philly fans who appreciate fights more than skill, but Hexy had that too. He finished up with 296 wins. It wasn’t so long ago that 300 was considered a magic number for getting into the Hall, but I don’t think that’s the case any more. If I recall accurately, Calgary needed a goalie and offered Hextall a contract for 1999-2000 but Hextall turned them down and hung up the skates. So, in my mind at least, he could have reached 300 if he wanted it. Should he be in the Hall of Fame? Probably not; No Stanley Cup is a big monkey in this case.  Shame, as there was nobody who battled harder for one.

That doesn’t mean I’ll ever forget:

• Banging the pipes
• Hex (P) Towels
• Jumping Chris Chelios
• Scoring on the Bruins
• The original Vic stick
• #27
• Leaving it all on the ice against the Oil in 87

Hexy was one of a kind. I hope he gets a few votes, at least. Here’s a few trips down memory lane: