The Rays want chinbeards? THEY CAN’T HANDLE THE CHINBEARD!

A few Joe Blanton items designed to please his biggest fans:

A great article on Joe & family: Blanton’s exploits thrilled parents, confidants – MLB – Yahoo! Sports.

The sweet homerun (Youtube will pull it soon) :

And after the jump, two bonus photos. One shows his eyes clearly open when he swung. He knew what he was doing.

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Well, I said if Kentucky Joe got a W in September, I’d do it. And tonight, he pitched a piss-poor game against the Marlins, but was somehow bailed out by Jayson Werth’s big bat. Hey, a win is a win! And, I’m taking full credit for it, too. Never let it be said that I’m not true to my word, at least when it comes to ridiculous wagers. Ladies and gents, my ridiculous new chinbeard:

Update: As seen on The700Level

Update II: THis made the lower levels of Flickr Explore. It’s a juggernaut!

My new theme song: “Ugly” – Fishbone

Well, Joe Blanton didn’t have it today against the Nats, getting pulled early. It’s not looking good for the new guy, ol’ Kentucky Joe.  I defended the move when the Phils picked him up, so I’m gonna do what I gotta do to help him be successful.

So, if Joe Blanton records a W in the month of September, I will do it. I’ll rock the chinbeard. I know it’s a drastic measure, but this is a pennant race and I’m stepping up and laying my chin on the line.

Play it: “The Hair On My Chinny Chin Chin” – Sam Sham & The Pharoahs

MLB – Philadelphia Phillies/Washington Nationals Box Score

The Phillies traded minor leaguers for SP Joe Blanton and in typical phan-phashion, Phillie blog reactions have been derisive and shrill.

Immediate quotes from the Beerleaguer comment section:

“I would have been happy trading for Burnett, but Joe Blanton? Why bother?“

“I’m going to go start drinking now“

“Wow. Just unbelievable. Why oh why“

“ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!“

So, they’re really taking a wait-and-see approach. I do have one source who was a big Joe Blanton fan from Oakland. But, when I interviewed her for this story, the best anecdote she could recall was that Blanton pitched so quickly on Fireworks night that the game ended early and everybody had to wait two hours before fireworks started.

Now, that is a solid endorsement.

Also, she claims his nickname is Kentucky Joe. A second source confirms this.

I think it’s a good move, and I think Blanton will at least calm things down. The Phillies rotation was in full-on crisis mode. He’s a major league arm coming to a weaker hitting league. This has a decent chance of working out.

Even Wikipedia sez: “Blanton throws a low-90′s fastball, along with a 12-6 curveball, a slider, and a straight changeup. His curveball is by far his best secondary pitch, drawing comparisons to former teammate Barry Zito’s famously baffling 12-6 curve. His slider and change are only league-average, but Blanton appears to have solidified his position as a quality starter.”

That’s gotta be true, right?

Read Big Joe’s Bluegrass Blog on the MLB sanctioned mlblogs.com. Nothing about the trade as of press time, but stay tuned!

Updated: Apparently video of the Blanton-Shoves-Ichiro Incident does not exist!