You really want to know what happened? I’ll tell you: Wednesday was slouching off into the sunset, and I got off work too late to do anything about it. Still, I grabbed my cam with an eye towards checking out the Santa Monica Pier with the ol’ fisheye. At the last minute, I grabbed the nifty fifty and clipped it to my belt. Just in case, I thought.

The Pier killed all remaining hope in me. I did get one photo I liked — mostly of emptiness — but I failed to solve any of my problems. I’m not sure who gave up first, me or the sunlight, but I floated back towards my car in a daze of anticipathos. Just before I got there though, I saw a red stoplight reflecting off the always-polished Santa Monica sidewalk. I found a perverse, masochistic cry of inspiration and swapped out to the fifty-millimeter lens. My goal, suddenly,  was to capture these forgotten shadows in this artificial light. Shadows left behind by people who didn’t need them. Shadows of strangers, my best friends.

I walked down the Promenade, not seeing what I wanted to see. I told myself, hey it’s the trying that counts, knowing that trying has always counted for nothing unless you’re worth it to begin with. Once again, back towards the car. Defeated, quixotic.

On the final street corner, last chance, I got the photograph below. No one will ever love it as I love it. It’s what I was hoping for. It’s a dream. It’s real. It’s everything that gets ignored.

I even matched it with a song that jumped into my head as soon as I saw this photo enlarged on my screen. It’s rather …well, you know. Make up your own mind.

Play: “Shadowplay” – Joy Division

To the centre of the city where all roads meet, waiting for you,
To the depths of the ocean where all hopes sank, searching for you,
I was moving through the silence without motion, waiting for you,
In a room with a window in the corner I found truth.

In the shadowplay, acting out your own death, knowing no more,
As the assassins all grouped in four lines, dancing on the floor,
And with cold streel, odour on their bodies mad a move to connect,
But I could only stare in disbelief as the crowds all left.

I did everything, everything I wanted to,
I let them use you for their own ends,
To the centre of the city in the night, waiting for you.
To the centre of the city in the night, waiting for you.